when a hater becomes a bestie

When you're on the web and you have opinions people are going to disagree with you.  Some more strongly than others.  And some aren't going to be cordial about it.

OK, here's the situation...

Back in 2009, I wrote a post about blogger "about" pages and what I wanted to see as someone who vets bloggers for brands.  This post is no longer published (however, I have on my list of blog posts and updated version since things have evolved slightly in the past three years...but I digress).

In other words, it wasn't meant to be one of my more provocative posts.  As a matter of fact, it was one of my more "nuts and bolts" posts about influencer relations.

The next thing I know, a Google alert for my name pops up.  Lo and behold, there's a post titled, "All that is Wrong with Social Media" and guess what?  I'm the "that" in said post.  I cringe, clicking on the link and I read on.  And I get livid.  Basically, this blogger has compared me to a pimp, so you can guess how she referred to my readers.  The kicker though?  She lives in my town in the DC suburbs.  At the time this happened, my family and I had relocated to California for a year.

I was hurt.  I was mortified.  I was angry.  Especially since a few of my points on my post were taken very much out of context.  However, I decided to approach this as I would any other media outlet and ask for some corrections.  She was, of course, entitled to her opinion, but I wanted to be sure we got the facts straight.  I couldn't find her contact information anywhere on her blog (guess she didn't take my advice on "about" pages. heh.) so I found her on Facebook and messaged her there.  I politely but firmly asked that she make the corrections.  

However, instead of the making the corrections.  She added an update to her post letting her readers know that I had threatened her over Facebook.  Really?! Now it was starting to feel personal.

I sought the advice of some others in the social media space and it turns out I wasn't the first person that she had done this to.  It was classic baiting.  And I wasn't going to fall for it.  As much as I wanted to share with friends who'd have my back, I did not want to reward her with traffic.

Just like everything online, this blew over.  And honestly, I did lose some sleep over it because I felt attacked and misunderstood.  I'm human.  No one wants to feel that way.

But it wasn't over...

Fast-forward a year and a half.  My family and I have moved back to our town in the DC suburbs.  I'm on the list-serv for my town and one day I post a question asking about membership in our nearby country club.  Well, who should respond but Maggie McGary.  Yes, the author of the "All That is Wrong with Social Media" post.  She tells me about how much her family loves the country club and...get this...even invites me to have drinks with her and her friends that Saturday.

The blood drains from my face.  My heart starts beating faster.  I'm pretty sure I broke out in hives.  

How am I supposed to sit down and have drinks with this woman?

Is she connecting the dots like I am?

I'm definitely one who addresses the elephant in the corner and decide that I'll wait for the right moment and bring up everything while we're having drinks.

I know.  Crazy, right?

That Saturday after the club tour my husband and I joined Maggie and her husband at the club's bar. My palms are already getting sweaty.  While Maggie's husband tries to talk my husband into taking up golf again, I see this as my opening.

I can't give play by play because it all happened so fast, but here's the gist:

Maggie & are practically Selena & Demi now. (image credit: fanpop.com)

Me:  So, I have to bring something up and I'm not even sure you'll remember it.

Maggie:  Sure. (with a big smile...I'm wondering if she knows and she's just secretly enjoying watching me squirm)

Me: There was this post you wrote over a year ago about all that is wrong with social media and I'm not sure if you realized this but the Jessica Smith in the post, well, it's me.  I know it's a pretty common name.  Wasn't sure if you knew.

Maggie:  Oh, that's cool!  I forgot I had written that! 

Me:  Erm.  Well, I just wanted to rip that bandaid off and get this awkward situation over with.  (awkward laugh)

Maggie:  Oh yeah, I totally just wrote that because I knew it would get traffic if you shared it.  I don't think you are what's wrong with social media.  

Me:  (huh) Well, then.  Sorry I didn't share and send you more traffic.

Maggie:  Whatever.  It's all good.

We then clinked our wine glasses and moved on to other topics.

That was over a year ago.  Now?  Maggie is one of those friends who I text and talk to on the phone regularly. We also try to have lunch once a week.  

I'll even be so bold to say that I consider her one of my closest friends. A bestie, if you will. 

Lesson learned?  Sometimes there can be some misunderstandings on the web that can get amplified. Sometimes people don't realize how much their words can affect people.  And sometimes we can let the words people say affect us in ways they don't deserve to at that point in the relationship (or lack thereof).

Goes to show that perception rules the day no matter what channel.

And? That haters can become besties.

Baby Sports Clothing by BabyFans - Meet My Client

Since launching smith&moxie just over a month ago I've started working with some amazing clients.  So amazing that I'd love to introduce them to you.

My very first client is BabyFans.  BabyFans sells clothing for your littlest sports fans.  So whether your little girl or boy is a  Lakers Baby or Celtics Baby, Yankees Baby or Red Sox Baby, or a fan of your alma mater, they've got you covered. 

How did I come to know BabyFans?

It's a Terps connection.

Todd Wilson, the founder and owner of BabyFans, and I went to the University of Maryland together.  Back in the '90s. And, thanks to Facebook, we reconnected in recent years (along with countless other Terps alumni).

I'll tell you what I think is so special about Todd and his business.  It's truly family friendly.  In addition to hand-folding each item and wrapping them in tissue paper that is color coordinate with the team colors of the baby sports gear inside, they are always working to bring their customers exactly what they want.  For example, BabyFans recently introduced a Jeremy Lin jersey for babies and kids.   On a personal level, Todd is not just managing the BabyFans business.  He's sharing home management and the care of his two adorable twin girls with his wife Stacey.  Stacey's a Cardiac Nurse and is going back to school, so needless to say they're working hard to achieve work life balance and are juggling a lot.  But they're doing it successfully and it shows.

smith&moxie is providing social media strategy supported by a program that includes social media monitoring and management, influencer relationship development and management, and some special campaigns to be implemented in coming months so stay tuned.

If you've got a little fan in your life, become a fan of BabyFans on Facebook and follow them on Twitter.  They've got some exciting promotions coming up that you won't want to miss.

using klout to create influencers vs. measure them

There's been a lot of debate about Klout recently.

Some people tout their Klout as if it's their license to drive the social media highway. But to me that would be like giving someone a driver's license based on the sole fact that they drive a shiny new car.  You'd have to consider driving record, safety ratings of the vehicle, and their inclination to engage in road rage.  (I think you get where I'm going with this).

Others criticize their lack of transparency about their algorithm (last I checked most analytics providers consider their algorithms proprietary, but if you want to beat that drum, go for it) or get mad because their Klout score went down last time they tweaked said algorithm.    Last time I checked Twitter Grader, PeerIndex and others didn't exactly share their secret sauce either.

A recent Forbes article gave some pretty powerful examples around employers putting a lot of weight on klout scores for some candidates.  And The Realtime Report underscored the importance of not solely relying on klout. (I agree with the approach Zoetica takes but conduct mine differently).

As for me, when I am vetting influencers for a campaign for a client (both when I was at a global agency and now here at smith&moxie), like Zoetica, I use a composite of many factors to identify that Magic Middle they reference.

However, I take it a step further. I actually like to look at those voices and influencers are just below the Magic Middle.  If this were Hollywood, we might refer to them as the D list.  Don't get me wrong.  When I say D list I don't mean that their talent is lacking or that they are less important.  They just haven't gotten to the point where anyone is paying attention to them yet and they're being overlooked because their klout score doesn't make the cut, because they're not quite getting the traction yet,  and they are hungry.  Hungry to tell their story, hungry to show their authentic self, and hungry to take their subject matter expertise and their unique point of view to the next level.

The A listers are still very important to brands.  However, it's important to point out that they are very important to *a lot* of brands.  It's exciting to see your brand's campaign in lights with these influencers, but in many cases you're sharing that spotlight with other brands...oftentimes in the same day.  And in a blink of an eye you're below the fold and on the second page.  Fingers crossed their coverage about you will show up in search results because of the popularity of their blog.  

I've found that the best strategy (and I've developed this strategy working on many, many campaigns for big brands, start-ups and small businesses...if you've known me for any length of time you can probably think of a few examples and are probably nodding your head) is to not try to blanket the "Top Influencer" lists of yore with pitches hoping for as many juicy hits as possible. 

The best strategy?  Is to partner with a couple of extremely targeted top influencers and then invest your time in a select group of those just below the Magic Middle to build their influence, make them shine, and truly partner with them.    In fact, if a final decision needs to be made between a top influencer and an emerging one?  I will usually go with the emerging influencer.

Just remember, when you create influencers, you risk them becoming A listers later and having less time for you. However, having first-hand experience in seeing this play out with the influencers I have worked with?  The strong relationships I've build not only for the clients I have worked but the relationships (and often friendships) I still have with those influencers...it's worth it.  And those influencers remember those who took a chance on them when they were building their audience no matter how influential they become.

So don't stop using Klout because you see some hate out there.  Just don't depend on it.  Be original.  Come up with your own composite scoring method that fits your brand.   Every brand is different and it's that differentiation that will be key in how you approach your influencer strategy.

And don't stop measuring.  Set benchmarks before executing the tactics that support your strategy, during the campaign, and after.  That's where influence really matters to you - the impact it makes on your bottom line.

Need help developing your influencer strategy?  Contact me and let's work together. 

Want to see who I have worked with in the past?  Visit my LinkedIn profile and let's connect there.

use a launch landing page to launch a new business while you build: kickoff labs review

AwesomeAllies.com, mentor matchmaking and expert advice for entrepreneurial women, was an idea I'd had for the past three years.  You know...one of those ideas that pops in your head and you buy the url so you can launch it "one day".

With my recent return to being an entrepreneur and starting my own digital marketing advisory, smith&moxie, I thought the time was ripe for finally launching this "passion project" I had put on the back burner these past few years.

I wanted to get the idea out there while working on the website and developing the framework for the program. There are a lot of pre-launch landing pages out there but I was impressed the most with KickoffLabs because it would let me use my own url, it would track referrals for me, and the price was right.

But a great first impression doesn't count unless the expectations set are met or exceeded, right?  Now that I've been using Kickoff Labs for the past couple of weeks, I thought I'd share my experience.

• The landing page was super easy to set up.  I design my own websites so I'm pretty technically inclined but the landing page set-up I think is easy no matter what your technical savviness is.  I know my web colors for my logo and had that already to go so I was able to upload the logo file and match colors in less than 5 minutes.
• While their template choices for the landing page are limited, they are flexible so one should be able to style it and customize it to their liking.  I chose the "Lean" design template because it allowed me to add as much html and text to it as I wanted.  This was important to me because I wanted to include testimonials on my landing page.
• Kickoff Labs also offers some cool extensions.  If you'd prefer to have an embedded sign up form on your website vs a custom url landing page, that's an option. They also provide javascript code for a sign-up bar across the top of your website (as you can see here).
• Communicating with your subscribers is easy as they have a built-in feature so you can send an email to everyone.  However, if you want to use your own email service you can easily export the sign-ups to a .csv file.
• Tracking referrals is super simple with Kickoff Labs.  Since I'm using this for a pre-launch I wanted to incentive those signing up to share.  Their referral tracking is built in and you can also link up Facebook and Twitter so your subscribers can easily share across those channels as well.
• Customer service is stellar.  I had a few questions and minor issues (the server was down) using Kickoff Labs and communicated them to the Kickoff Labs team via both email and Twitter and the response time was very impressive, often within a few hours.  And, they provide answers that actually helped solve the issue and gave clear expectations for resolution timing.  

 Overall, I've been really happy with Kickoff Labs.  While I'll be launching the AwesomeAllies.com site on May 1, Kickoff Labs let me communicate to a relevant audience what Awesome Allies is and how to become involved.   I did invest in the paid version to remove the Kickoff Labs branding and white label, and for me it was definitely worth it.

Full disclosure:  Kickoff Labs does promise free service in exchange for a blog post, however, I contacted them and asked if I could instead offer a month of free service to one of my readers.  They came back, happy to oblige, and offered THREE free months of service to one of my readers.  So you'll see that the links to Kickoff Labs in this post are referral links.  That's why.

Deadline to enter giveaway is May 4 at 5pm EST.

You can enter the following ways and each action counts as one entry, please leave a link to your entries in the comments:

• "Like" Kickoff Labs on Facebook
• "Like" smith&moxie on Facebook
• Tweet this post
• Share this post on Facebook
• Leave a comment about why you want to try Kickoff Labs

top 10 reasons you should be an awesome ally

So, two weeks ago tomorrow I will have launched smith&moxie.

In the meantime, I decided to start working on a side project that's been bubbling up in my mind over the past few years. Nothing makes makes my day more than someone sharing with me that my advice and direction helped them reach their goals, attain success, or make their business really take off. Most of them don't realize I learn and grow from the process of functioning as their mentor. It's the best leadership development there is.

I've always thought it could be pretty powerful to mentor women who would like to be mentors themselves while formalizing the mentorship process. In other words, be a mentor matchmaker and then work those I match up to provide calls to action so they really get the most out of the relationship. But even more so, provide the opportunity for each woman to have a mentor and be a mentor, as well. Let's face it, no matter how successful one becomes, there are always areas that need improvement and growth.

I had no idea how quickly interest would grow for AwesomeAllies. People are signing up to get early access and updates. Launch is set to happen in May and I'm committed to setting an official launch date by the end of this week.

Right now AwesomeAllies.com is a landing page. I'm in the process of building the site right now and hope to have that up in the next week or so.

There are some amazing women who have signed up for pre-launch...many of whom I would be honored to have as my own mentor.

Thinking about joining the program?

TOP TEN REASONS YOU SHOULD BE AN AWESOME ALLY

1. No additional community to join and log-in to, this will be a no fuss, no muss network with one weekly dedicated email and the occasional email for special announcements.


2. No outside advertisers. While each weekly email will advertisements for members' businesses and may include the additional discount for them, no one who is not an active mentor in the program will have the opportunity promote themselves. This is a network that is truly dedicated to benefitting its members and only its members.


3. Each mentor-mentee match will be hand paired by me. Everyone who joins the program will complete a comprehensive Q&A and then I will make the match. I will also provide tools and programming around your mentorship on a weekly basis.


4. This is a program for entrepreneurial women...however, I am a firm believer that there are lots of entrepreneurial women working in the corporate world who are achieving great success and adding a lot of value to their organization because of their entrepreneurial spirit.


5. I will also be regularly identifying potential business partnerships between members and will reach out and advise on structure and optimization accordingly. This will be more formalized in Phase 2 of the program and will potentially become a second, optional offering.


6. This will be priced at $22/month. A few friends advised me that I should charge more because of the amount of time I will be investing in this. However, it is important to me that every woman that joins sees this as an investment of time with their mentor and their mentee. In other words, I'm asking for three investments...the program fee, the time with your mentor, and the time with your mentee.


7. With that said, this is not meant to consume too much of your time. Entrepreneurial women, by design, are some of the busiest women on the planet. That's the biggest value of the program. I'm going to provide a framework for the mentorships so that you can take a small time investment and get a huge return.


8. I've done this before. I've worked with countless women online and in my own community making connections, offering advice, openly sharing what I know, and being responsive. I've demonstrated my commitment and dedication to helping other women succeed in their career and life and it's something I'm truly passionate about. And, if this grows to the level where I need to start hiring a team...I will only hire from within the Awesome Allies network.


9. You will get so much more out of this then what you put into it. It's amazing feeling when we're successful. It's even more amazing when our actions directly impact the success of others. There's really no other feeling like it.


10. Each month, I will donate 5% of program fees collected to a cause determined by network vote.

If you haven't already, sign up now to get early access and updates at AwesomeAllies.com.

Update on Wednesday, May 23, 2012 at 10:45AM by Jessica Smith

Unfortunately this project has been put on hold...I sent the following email to those who had signed up for early access.  One thing I've learned as a entrepreneur is that not everything is a success and that projects fail sometimes.

Here's the email:

I want to thank all of you who were so enthusiastic around the AwesomeAllies concept and who shared this with all of your friends.

There were almost 200 people who signed up to receive the news when Awesome Allies started.  Many of you sent personal notes saying how much something like this is needed.

Many of you also sent notes letting me know that timing wasn't right to make the kind of time commitment that would be needed to both have a mentor and be a mentor.

And others were interested in having a mentor, but were not necessarily ready to be a mentor.

Despite this, the excitement around this concept has been nothing short of amazing.  However, with so few people participating, it is clear that I can't make the kind of matches I need to in order to provide the value that was promised.

It is because of this that with a heavy heart I have decided to table AwesomeAllies and not move forward.

For the few that did signup and did pay, I will refund your money before the end of the day today.

So the good news?  People love this idea and believe that mentoring is important to women entrepreneurs.  The not so good news is that because of the busy nature of being a woman entrepreneur, we did not get enough initial women into the program to see this to fruition.

Thanks again for all of your support and amazing feedback.