« We are All the Cinderella and the Evil Stepsisters in Friendship »
Sunday, July 10, 2011 at 8:59PM | Jessica Smith 
This weekend I attended the Evo 2011 Blogger Conference founded by two women: Jyl and Rachael. I was there because Plum District sponsored the coffee break so my colleague Melissa and I spreading the word about our daily deals for moms, what makes us different (it's all about the moms!), and connecting with potential partners.
The great thing about being at Evo was reconnecting with old friends. In particular, two of my long-time friends (you know who you are). Our friendship goes way back and without rehashing everything, it's definitely been a rocky road. In fact, it's not unlike the offline long-time friendships many people share: misunderstandings, things getting lost in translation, letting our snarky side get the best of us, and pride getting in the way of saying sorry. But with that rocky road comes goofy inside jokes that never get old, the ability to ricochet wit and love off one another in a banter that warms the heart and nourishes the soul.
I had let a lot of the past hurt go, but had not yet translated that into truly moving forward with them. This weekend did that for me. I openly laughed and shared and confided in these old friends.
At one point when someone asked how long we'd known each other, I guessed three years, but we were able to go back even further, reminding ourselves just how long the fabric of our friendship has been woven. I realize that almost four years will not seem long to some but in the blogosphere it's a long time.
During the night, as the sun had finally set on Park City, I jokingly said that our friendship was one that was like Cinderella and the evil stepsisters. There was a pause as we each pondered which role we'd be cast in...and then, before we could point fingers, I said that at that at different times we'd all been the Cinderella and evil stepsisters. Then we all giggled because, I'm guessing, we could all remember a time when had, indeed, played those roles.
It's true. And oftentimes, we don't realize that we were being the evil stepsister until later. While it's cliche to say that hindsight is always 20/20, it's true. Sometimes, when we're standing up for a friend or we're doing something in the name of "doing the right thing" there's always someone who is being put on the defense or someone who is made to feel like they've done something wrong. The number of times this is done because of a misinterpretation of the situation? Too many to count. And I'll be accountable right now...I've been the evil stepsister in some situations...and in others I've been Cinderella. I think though, that when this happens in our friendships with other women, that the root always starts because someone has a good intention. But good intentions can spiral into lines in the sand, pride not being swallowed, and a retreat from a relationship - not such good things.
So what can we do to mend fences when this happens? Sometimes? It is a matter of everyone involved being ready. And those who are ready being patient for those who are not. This weekend, the three of us were ready and it opened the door for nostalgia, laughter, and supporting each other in our endeavors the way we used to.
The lesson I learned is to remember that even when I know deep down in side that I'm Cinderella, to heed those times I may have been the Evil Stepsister...for perspective because life isn't a fairy tale but it can have lots of happy endings if you'll let it.
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